Before there was Classic Rock there was Rock. Just Rock.

And Metal. And, of course, Progressive Rock, Hard Rock, Art Rock, Punk Rock, and, let us never forget, Slop Rock. In 1984, Osiris, a still largely-unknown band, redefined this previously undefined hybrid genre, deep-fried it like a pyrotechnics stunt gone wrong, and served it over pancakes like smoke from a homemade fog machine...complete with mixed metaphors, misguided language, and the occasional minor electrocution from improperly grounded musical equipment.

But it was raw and pure and honest and true. It was teen angst pre-Grunge and pre-MySpace.com. It was a time before the commercial internet, Google, and blogs. When having a mobile phone meant your rich neighbor literally attached a phonebooth to her Jaguar. When porn could only be purchased in a brown paper bag at your local liquor store, sex shop, or via mail order. A time when "retro" meant playing music from 1968.

Yes, it was the mid-80s.

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